[Too long for an Instagram caption; didn’t feel like editing down further, so here is Laura Vanderkam's 9 ways to calm the chaos and make time for what matters #TranquilityByTuesday. The book I've been reading/implementing/forgetting/renewing for about a month.
Laura's 9 rules and my @chaptertakeaways (and related obstacles):
**Rule 1: give yourself a bedtime**
I wrote a bit about my bedtime range and wake up/breakfast preference before realizing how vague it all was. So of course I haven't been so consistent with it!
Although, 3x/week is a habit and I've implemented my bedtime at least 3x/week in April :D
[Wind down/light dimming at around 8pm (and no more fiction/entertainment), lights out at around 10pm, awake at around 7am. Out of bed and eating breakfast by around 8/9am.]
I've noticed that I need to be more careful scheduling over the weekend (and week) to make sure I'm getting enough alone me-time. To practice doing what I want first before doing what I need to prevent resentment/revenge procrastination.
Giving myself all the leisure hobbies that I delight in. Once that happens, I'm naturally more willing and energetic to do the home care and other tasks I was putting off. Like going to bed.
**Rule 2: plan on fridays**
I have not been doing this. It hasn't integrated well with my existing week energy on Friday.
Now that I'm thinking about it... Planning on motzei Shabbat is a better idea. [alarm date/time updated! :D calendar event created]. To be tested!
**Rule 3: move by 3pm**
I liked this rule, but forgot about it a lot. My calendar events/tasks about it were distracting, or not motivating, and I've been considering ways to have it be easier to do.
Like, furniture reorganizing so I can leave my mat out, a place for my computer/phone for following dance routines; other things to address tiredness. I used to (un)roll my mat as a sleep/wake up-related routine but haven't done that in awhile.
It's been a low priority and forgotten as I've been considering more what I enjoy doing, what's recharging/energizing to me, and what habits/environment I need to set up to make things easier for me... TBD
**Rule 4: three times a week is a habit**
a helpful reframe to zoom out a bit and not try to do everything in one day consistently every day of the week and weekend. ! that's a lot.
A forgiving and compassionate rule.
**Rule 5: create a back-up slot**
This is where my calendar open space fits in, and not overscheduling myself - giving myself meeting/outing-free mornings, etc.
Making a more structured resilient schedule (like Laura suggests) hasn't seemed so relevant for me; my days aren't rigidly scheduled with so many external responsibilities like others.
**Rule 6: one big adventure, one little adventure**
Doing this rule as intended, 2 adventures per week, has been put on the backburner for the time being.
I ~have~ been having some spontaneous/energy-dependent adventures, or more internal/indoors at home adventures weekly. Merging my adventures with other rules like leisure/move by 3pm. And doing bigger adventures on a (bi)monthly scale.
Which is better than not doing it at all!
Also, I've been saying yes to more things, especially when I don't have 'real' reasons coming to mind, or if I don't have a known 'no' immediately.
(big adventure = few hours of doing something novel in your life, creating memories and expanding time
little adventure = an hour or so of something out of the ordinary)
**Rule 7: take one night for you**
yeah, I don't really need this. 5+ nights per week are mine. though again, I'm not necessarily doing leisure things.
I did try scheduling dance class time throughout the week (3x) for me to do, but with no external obligations it's harder for me (#Rebel #GretchenRubin #Tendencies). I found myself not doing something when I was able to and I felt like it because I had it scheduled for another time that day/week. Nope!
Or, I was overdoing it the other end with doing too much of a good thing (like reading too many novels in a row and going to bed at 1:30am).
For me to rebalance..
**Rule 8: batch the little things**
Some of this felt too rigid and constraining, or just not being tracked. I already have some little things that have been batched on to other things, like habit stacking.
I could be doing this better to create time restraints for decisions and focus on priorities.
I haven't paid attention to what my version of small tasks are.
Examples from the book are "signing a kid up for something, mailing a package, paying a bill, responding to invitations, returning objects to their homes, purchasing household items, making routine appointments, sending requested information" (p197)
**Rule 9: effortful before effortless**
I like to consider both push and pull factors.
I've recently been making "effortless" things less easy. Hiding apps, setting rules for use, limiting times. Being real to myself about what doesn't feel good and doing something about it.
I want to make "effortful" things more easy. Shown apps (not in a folder), my physical environment/pathways through furniture reorganizing.. And, setting boundaries so I don't go overboard in the other direction.
Some of my rules:
- no Instagram before noon
- IG time to under 30min --a big decrease from a few months ago :D
- no IG commenting, no DM conversations, no IG home feed/search section
- no movies before 3pm --I'm testing out less action/intensive stimulation options
- up to two ebooks a day, before 8pm --new as of today.... four give me bloodshot eyes and wreck my sleep/wake up habits
This 9th rule goes to the hobby/move rule(s), of what I actually want to be doing that light me up or interest me.
Minimizing what's lower down on the list and setting myself up for success to do more of what's higher on the list (like singing and dancing along to music on my mini-trampoline, or watching the sky and daydreaming on the couch with my big Ikea lion Bear)
I'm more go with the flow, less structure.