**I’m a student in the Life Coach Certificate Program at Rhodes Wellness College part time. This is a post in my Student Diary Series where I share what I’m learning over 6 months from April to September 2023.**
In June 27’s class we talked about values. Values can be defined as guiding principles and the standards of behaviour a person considers most important in life. Values are used as a foundational and directional life compass to:
have a solid sense of self,
live authentically and meaningfully,
align decision-making, and
feel satisfied and fulfilled.
I’ve had trouble selecting values in the past, and they currently seem like a blurry cluster. Like how trees look when your eyesight is blurry or you have an old glasses prescription. I want my values to be as clear as individual leaves being viewed with a new prescription. 🤩
Since the list of words (values) didn’t work for me, my breakout room partner asked me how I would react to a handful of specific scenarios. It was a really interesting, helpful exercise. I noticed some throughlines in my answers and had a few realizations.
After class, I was looking up more scenario-based values exercises and came across this values exploration experiential activity from Psychology Today. While I didn’t do it exactly as instructed, the prompts got me out of my head and what came up was intriguing.
While I won’t go into specifics today, I did notice that I wanted my values to be consistent and overlapping across the four categories of values, which are:
personal values (as an individual, how we face the world),
cultural/communal,
social (how we relate to others meaningfully), and
professional.
Some of my answers reminded me of Relationship Anarchy. I borrowed some of their phrasing (from this version) as part of my relationship needs that I valued. I noticed I was blurring the boundaries between a venn diagram of what I valued, needed, and preferred. Something to look more into…
It was also interesting to see how my observations were aligning with what I’ve previously learned about both my zodiac sign and human design (and the 3 main parts of both).
After those exercises, while my values are still a cluster, the prescription is more accurate and they’re more clear. 👍
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On a different note, I’ll end with notes from last week’s textbook reading that I found interesting and useful. It’s about 6 types of conversation:
Sharing - sharing a quick, heartfelt snapshot of where you are, what you’re currently feeling and thinking; revealing authentic and personal experiences; being soulful, sincere, and direct.
(In a coaching situation, coaches don’t respond with advice, discussion, or relating to their own personal experience. Coaches respond by receiving, witnessing, and just listening… Being neutral and supportive.)
Debriefing - describing what was done and felt since last session in a detailed report or list; reflecting on what occurred and what was learned.
Clearing - releasing feelings, venting, and saying something to get it off their chest.
(In coaching, it’s a way to express and release before moving into the coaching session.)
Discussion & debate - talking and creating equal time for everyone to speak; creating deeper thinking through dialogue.
(In a coaching situation, coaches can have a light, playful debate without sharing their own perspective or debating.)
Teaching - sharing what others may not know.
(In coaching, coaches may ask if the client would like to learn something, and only after receiving permission teaches in small doses.)
Coaching - exploring what they want in the future and choosing ways to attain it within a specific framework for transformation. (I have a post about session structure here.)
(Source: Ellis (2006) via Becoming A Professional Life Coach by Patrick Williams and Diane S. Menendez.)
**What would 3 hours of free coaching with a calm and insightful student coach do for you? Learn more about my summer invitation and how to accept it here.**