I’m very close to becoming a professional life coach.
I’m typing this up 2 days before my exam (on Aug. 29), 7 days before our final closing session, and 3 weeks before grades will be in.
As I edit this (on Aug. 30), I’m thinking of this as one of a duology or trilogy. I have a sense I’ll be wanting to write up another reflection post after our closing session on Sep. 5.
This reflection you’re in is after almost 6 months of coaching training - 11.5 hours of practice coaching in class and 10.5 hours of practicing pure coaching outside of class. (And however many twice weekly classes we had from April that I didn’t/am not counting :P)
In considering my expectations back in April (or before) and now:
I wanted a cohort, professional peers I can be in a referral network in, colleagues I can turn to for help.
→Yes! I have this with wonderful people (8 classmates and 1 instructor).
I wanted to learn skills to coach people with what I didn’t have lived experience with, with things beyond my scope.
Yes!
Though I did misunderstand what coaching is then - coaching isn’t about bringing in your personal experience (that’s more mentorship and giving advice). I still have a scope (counselling/therapy and mentorship are both outside of my scope still).
I already had those skills. This program deepened them through theory and practice. Studying for an exam ‘made’ me deepen my ability to verbalize and talk about them. To really define what they are (concepts like emotions, empathy, intuition, etc.) and specifically why they’re important. (cuz, duh, they’re important, why is that even a question).
I wanted skills to build a sustainable, long-lasting life coaching business.
Kind of!
Yes, I definitely have the skills to be a professional life coach.
No, there’s way more about running a long-lasting business that we didn’t formally learn. I was originally intending to do a course in the fall with the full time program (I’m doing part time), but not anymore.
No, I don’t want a life coaching business ;) I’ll be incorporating my coaching skills into my main live developmental editing package. My clarity call offer is a project/business coaching session.
In general, already having coaching skills (attending, listening, presence, etc.) brought up my lack of patience. Practicing patience was a big component to these past 6 months. With myself, with others, with the program curriculum… It was a lot.
I wasn’t used to the emotional intensity of classes. I ended up blocking off mornings after class to process what came up from the prior night class #EmotionalHangovers. That ended up being an over-correction, which wasn’t sustainable.
I realized I was oversharing - my emotional boundaries were porous. (As in, I realized during our Aug. 1 class on boundaries.)
—
A sidenote on boundaries from my class notes:
Boundaries are something that indicate our farthest limits, a border, of acceptable behaviour to protect and take care of ourselves. They can be porous, healthy, and rigid.
Boundaries teach others how to treat us in different contexts and areas:
personal space and physical touch→physical boundaries
thoughts and ideas→intellectual boundaries
feelings and what/when to share→emotional boundaries
money and material belongings→material boundaries
use of time→time boundaries
(among others)
Boundaries are how we love ourselves. Some porous/rigid boundaries may not necessarily be healthy, but are protective.
Boundaries are not about controlling others’ behaviour. When we need to uphold a boundary, it’s always about what we’re choosing or able to do safely in relation to our own behaviour. What we’re willing to accept to keep ourselves safe and loved.
—
Back to my program reflection:
After realizing my emotional boundaries were too porous, I then went to the other extreme and created rigid emotional boundaries (aka not really sharing at all).
I’ve practiced a happy medium, after testing out what I want to share more broadly and when to add more details.
(+someone shared with me that my vulnerability enabled them to reciprocate 🥰)
Another shift I made over those 6 months was around how I viewed the program. Because I no longer wanted to build a typical life coaching business, I wasn’t sure why I would stay in a professional certificate program for life coaching. I considered dropping out 3 times.
Instead of viewing the program as a certificate professional training, I viewed it as a facilitated group container to talk through things and learn about communication-related concepts. I decided to view the program as my own group coaching program.
I thought of my school’s graduation requirements of 3 external practice clients, my demo, and the exam as extras - I didn’t need to have those done to view the program as a success.
And yet, on August 15 I completed my demo.
August 29 I completed my requirement with external practice clients.
Next up is my exam Thurs, Aug. 31.
Let’s go 😎
